The annual transition to outdoor fun is the perfect opportunity to make sure that your kids know their essential personal safety lessons. Family safety expert and founder of M.A.M.A. Self-Defense, Jarrett Arthur, shares some tips that are of crucial importance to talk over with children.
1) Don’t Talk to Strangers
This lesson is the personal safety staple of almost every household. Even if no other conversations take place, almost every parent teaches their child the “Don’t Talk to Strangers Rule.” Role playing this lesson is really important because your child is hearing 24/7 that they must be respectful and polite to adults.
2) Adults Don’t Ask Kids for Help
Kids are often very quick to help problem solve, especially if the outcome is something they are interested in. Child predators know this all to well and will often enlist the help of kids in order to gain closer access to them. Children need to know that “good” adult strangers don’t ever ask kids for help, so it’s a red flag if a stranger approaches them needing help. Some common examples are asking for directions to someplace, asking if they know another child, asking them for help finding their son or daughter, asking for help finding a lost pet.
3) Where to Run for Help
The key to this lesson is to identify places where there will be other adults. Kids often assume that finding secluded areas to hide from a bad guy is the way to go, so it’s important to stress that isolated locations are NOT where you want to run to. Choose busy or occupied places instead: restaurants, shops, schools, hospitals or clinics, a firehouse or police station.
4) Who to Ask for Help and How to Ask
We want kids to ask for help from people they know (neighbors, teachers), moms with kids, dads with kids, grandparents with kids, somebody in a uniform (police officer, fireman, doctor, postal worker), or an employee at a restaurant or store. It’s really important that you teach kids that when they need help, being polite is a non-issue. They can yell, scream, interrupt, and even push an adult in order to get their attention quickly, and once they have it, explain why they are scared and point out the person they are scared of or trying to get away from.
5) What to Yell if You Need Help
Teach children to yell action words if they need help: “Help!” “No!” “Stranger!” “911!” “He’s not my Dad!” “She’s not my Mom!” and “Fire” are all good options. Having them practice yelling these words at home will make it more likely they’ll successfully yell them when adrenalized.
6) How to Fight Back in Order to Run
Kids should know the 4 main areas to aim for if they need to fight back in order to run away: eyes, nose, throat, and groin. These are the places that are most vulnerable on the body, and therefore don’t require a lot of strength or size in order to have an impact. Kids can strike with their fingers, thumbs, knees, elbows, and the heel of their palm. Have your child practice on a firm pillow at home with you.
I cannot stress enough the importance of enrolling your child in at least one reality-based self-defense class or workshop (preferably more than one, but even one is better than none). Not all martial arts programs teach self-defense from the very beginning, so it’s important to seek out a facility that makes self-defense a priority (such as a Krav Maga studio).
7) When to Fight Back in Order to Run
Smart phone theft is the most common street crime happening today, and with more and more children being in possession of cell phones, it’s imperative that parents teach their kids to give up a material possession (electronic device, money, jewelry) if threatened by an adult stranger for it. Teach your kid that possessions can be replaced. If they are being threatened for a possession, give up the possession and immediately run to a safe place to find a safe adult, while yelling for help.
The flip side to the coin is when a bad guy doesn’t want a possession, but instead wants them. If an adult stranger wants them to get into a car, picks them up, grabs them, or wants them to go someplace, then it’s time to run away quickly to a safe place with safe adults, and yell for help. If they can’t run away because they are being grabbed or picked up then it’s time to fight like a crazy animal in order to create the space needed to run. The rule is we NEVER go with a stranger, no matter what the threat is (and yes, that includes if they have a weapon).
In conclusion, while unlikely to happen, it’s vital that you have consistent conversations with your kids about how to handle potentially dangerous situations, should they arise. I liken it to the importance you place on teaching your child to look both ways before crossing the street, putting their seatbelt on in the car, and not running with scissors. If you drill those lessons at home, you should be spending time on personal safety skills as well. When discussed consistently, the topic goes from being potentially scary, to just another rung on the life skill ladder. Teaching these summer safety lessons for kids, will help ensure piece of mind as you and your children enjoy the warmer weather
Kids are often very quick to help problem solve, especially if the outcome is something they are interested in. Child predators know this all to well and will often enlist the help of kids in order to gain closer access to them. Children need to know that “good” adult strangers don’t ever ask kids for help, so it’s a red flag if a stranger approaches them needing help. Some common examples are asking for directions to someplace, asking if they know another child, asking them for help finding their son or daughter, asking for help finding a lost pet.
3) Where to Run for Help
The key to this lesson is to identify places where there will be other adults. Kids often assume that finding secluded areas to hide from a bad guy is the way to go, so it’s important to stress that isolated locations are NOT where you want to run to. Choose busy or occupied places instead: restaurants, shops, schools, hospitals or clinics, a firehouse or police station.
4) Who to Ask for Help and How to Ask
We want kids to ask for help from people they know (neighbors, teachers), moms with kids, dads with kids, grandparents with kids, somebody in a uniform (police officer, fireman, doctor, postal worker), or an employee at a restaurant or store. It’s really important that you teach kids that when they need help, being polite is a non-issue. They can yell, scream, interrupt, and even push an adult in order to get their attention quickly, and once they have it, explain why they are scared and point out the person they are scared of or trying to get away from.
5) What to Yell if You Need Help
Teach children to yell action words if they need help: “Help!” “No!” “Stranger!” “911!” “He’s not my Dad!” “She’s not my Mom!” and “Fire” are all good options. Having them practice yelling these words at home will make it more likely they’ll successfully yell them when adrenalized.
6) How to Fight Back in Order to Run
Kids should know the 4 main areas to aim for if they need to fight back in order to run away: eyes, nose, throat, and groin. These are the places that are most vulnerable on the body, and therefore don’t require a lot of strength or size in order to have an impact. Kids can strike with their fingers, thumbs, knees, elbows, and the heel of their palm. Have your child practice on a firm pillow at home with you.
I cannot stress enough the importance of enrolling your child in at least one reality-based self-defense class or workshop (preferably more than one, but even one is better than none). Not all martial arts programs teach self-defense from the very beginning, so it’s important to seek out a facility that makes self-defense a priority (such as a Krav Maga studio).
7) When to Fight Back in Order to Run
Smart phone theft is the most common street crime happening today, and with more and more children being in possession of cell phones, it’s imperative that parents teach their kids to give up a material possession (electronic device, money, jewelry) if threatened by an adult stranger for it. Teach your kid that possessions can be replaced. If they are being threatened for a possession, give up the possession and immediately run to a safe place to find a safe adult, while yelling for help.
The flip side to the coin is when a bad guy doesn’t want a possession, but instead wants them. If an adult stranger wants them to get into a car, picks them up, grabs them, or wants them to go someplace, then it’s time to run away quickly to a safe place with safe adults, and yell for help. If they can’t run away because they are being grabbed or picked up then it’s time to fight like a crazy animal in order to create the space needed to run. The rule is we NEVER go with a stranger, no matter what the threat is (and yes, that includes if they have a weapon).
In conclusion, while unlikely to happen, it’s vital that you have consistent conversations with your kids about how to handle potentially dangerous situations, should they arise. I liken it to the importance you place on teaching your child to look both ways before crossing the street, putting their seatbelt on in the car, and not running with scissors. If you drill those lessons at home, you should be spending time on personal safety skills as well. When discussed consistently, the topic goes from being potentially scary, to just another rung on the life skill ladder. Teaching these summer safety lessons for kids, will help ensure piece of mind as you and your children enjoy the warmer weather
About Jarrett Arthur:
Jarrett Arthur is one of the highest ranking female black instructors in Krav Maga (Israeli Self-Defense) in the country. For over 10 years she’s been educating and instructing men, women, and kids about the importance of practical, effective self-defense and personal safety knowledge. In 2009 she founded M.A.M.A. (Mothers Against Malicious Acts), a self-defense system designed exclusively for moms and all people responsible for the wellbeing of children. Jarrett has been featured as an expert on national television shows including Good Morning America, Ellen, Access Hollywood, KCAL9 and Good Day LA, as well as in numerous online and print publications including Parents, SELF, Glamour and Real Simple. You can find more info on her website, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.
