Tips for Helping your Child Cope
- Send them to school with a hug and a kiss, a prayer or an affirmation, an "I love you!" note in their lunch box, a token or talisman, a touchstone--something to remind them that they are not alone and that we are all being brave, moment by moment, together.
- If your child is particularly anxious this week or in the coming months, stay in contact with the school administrators--the nurse, guidance counselor, principal, teacher--to monitor their well-being and address any special needs they may have as they, like everyone, process and move through this most recent and awful upheaval.
- Expect that their behavior--and yours--may not be "normal" for a while, and talk about any unusual outbursts, fears, tears or sleep disturbances as a family, without judgement and in an understanding, open way.
- Most of all, be a good listener now. Ask questions, and wait patiently as your child finds the right words to express what may be going on inside. If you don't have the answers to complicated questions, tell your child the truth--that you just don't know.
- Then, tell your children something you DO know for sure--that you love them, will protect them always to the best of your ability, that you have faith in a brighter tomorrow for everyone, and that the way to get to that better future is through acts of kindness, large and small, today, and every day.
- Remind them that acts of kindness-- gifts of love--are what the holiday season is truly about.
If you or someone you know is in emotional or mental crisis, take action. Contact your insurance company for a list of local mental health providers, or ask your general practitioner for a referral. Many communities have walk-in clinics or individual or group programs run through hospitals that can provide comfort and counseling in a time of need. At the very least, tell someone. Darkness--spiritual, emotional, mental and physical--is a always a temporary condition. Shine the light. Share the light.
The spirit of love and kindness did not die in Newtown--it was glorified in a very beautiful and universal way. It is that love--the love of teachers, friends, neighbors, a community, first responders, the Governor, the President, the multidimensional clergy and a sidewalk filled with teddy bears, flowers and candles--that should inspire them to find the good that is evident everywhere. Focus on the good--it is, after all, so much more abundant.
